I’m feeling so sore, it’s been 15 minutes of incessant, targeted manipulation of my sexual organs, and honestly I’m ready to punch him in the head.
15 minutes doesn’t sound the longest time. But it’s a long time on delicate flesh, and a very sensitive clitoris that was never adequately prepared for the pokey war being waged on it in this moment. My requests have been heard but honestly, I’m not sure he has the skills or understanding to fulfil what I asked for. But, he’s obsessed with my orgasm. He is under the belief that the longer he pokes at it, the sooner I will unleash wave after wave of entertaining porngasm, and only then will he be satisfied. It’s these moments, these clients that make DATY one of the least favourite activities of so many clitoris owning sexworkers. It’s these men that will experience many orgasms from women in their paid sessions, but few of them real. Men I’ve met in this line of work act like they’re being really generous or doing me a favour by eating me out. I’ve even had comments of ‘if it’s good, maybe you should be paying me!’. However when he heads down, usually without doing anything else to prepare me, I close my eyes and pray to Odin, please let this not hurt, please let him either pull a rabbit out of his hat and be amazing, or may he be quickly bored and want something else.
There has been a kind of revolution in the world of sex. Men have been told - women have had enough of selfish sex, we want pleasure too! That, and the novelty of having women body confident enough to let men put their head between their legs… has led to this phenomenon of men who always want to eat pussy. However eating pussy isn’t something you can learn from a book, or that you can become an expert in because you satisfied other women. Eating pussy is entirely individual and unique from person to person. And in a quick, paid environment, the connection needed for many people to enjoy oral sex, can be minimal or entirely absent. Sex, particularly for women, is very psychological. And whether we like that or not, our body responds accordingly. I personally require either attraction, amazing non targeted foreplay, or connection for my body to respond well to oral sex. Do I wish it was easier than that? Yes. I feel envy when I hear of girls who come from the click of a finger, but alas, my orgasms are just a little more elusive and special than that.
I am not a stereotype of erogenous zones. If you tweak my nipples, I will growl at you, and not in a fun or sexy way. If you poke my pussy with no warm up, I will bat your hand away. I am 6ft tall and curvy, and if you haven’t bothered to explore my body beyond the few parts that are pink, then I will be unlikely to orgasm. If this seems like too much ‘hard work’ - that’s totally okay. I am more than happy for you to leave me alone, and i will gladly spend our session on my knees doing what I do best - as I am naturally a giver. I feel safer when I am pleasing someone - there is nothing vulnerable to me about giving pleasure, but I do feel vulnerable when my body is being manipulated into something I may not be able to give.
We have just met. I really invite you to take some time for us to get to know each other. To talk, kiss and gently explore each other. To allow things to occur naturally and not be hung up on end goals. That’s what a girlfriend experience is. You haven't paid for access, nor are you renting my body - your fee is for time with me and I don't 'tolerate' sex. It needs to be a mutual thing. Nothing hurts more than someone frustratingly or even angrily being unable to get me off because he thinks my clitoris is a ‘Go’ button, and nothing upsets me more than having to tell someone frankly that nothing they have done turned me on. Morally, I don’t think I can reward bad sex with fake orgasms. I have admittedly done it before, when it was the only way I could get them to stop, and they were the type of people that would respond badly to anything less than ego stroking. But with age, I have seen how this has damaged men and stripped them of their ability to seduce and be sensual.
You might be wondering, can I orgasm? Yes, I can and almost always it’s with those with either a degree of attraction, genuine chemistry, or those who understand that I need time, connection and seduction to get there. I am more than my pussy, and those who understand that and focus on ME as much as my pussy to please me, they’re the ones I enjoy. They’re the ones who I can relax with, and everything else goes from there.
The pressure to orgasm ruins sex. Some of the most memorable sexual experiences I have had, did not involve orgasm. They involved sexy moments with the right person, the right chemistry, the right mood and the right time. They were times that everything came together for a great time that I keep in my wank bank. I do not remember orgasms, I remember moments and how people made me feel. Maybe it was an unexpected quickie, or it was a person I shouldn’t have been fucking, or maybe it was in a new place, or we just created magic. I remember the way that person smelled, and I remember how wet I was or how cold the bench was on my skin. I’ll remember how he held my head or I’ll remember when he grabbed my hair or what he whispered in my ear. Those are the things I hold on to. I can come by myself, so for me that’s not what makes something special. In fact, my body has betrayed me and orgasmed during bad sex with someone I wished would get off me - so an orgasm is not neccesarily indicative of anything enjoyable - it’s a bodily function that happens to feel nice. But what feels BEST is respect, to be treated as a whole person and not just a vagina that performs tricks. That’s what I like in bed.
I come back to the present, he’s still there, munching away at my pussy which now either hurts or is completely numb. I can’t stand it any more. 20 minutes of being just a vagina to this man, I pull him up by the hair and let him fuck me. The sex is a welcome rest for my clitoris, and I enjoy it while it lasts. An eager, hard cock always feels good for me.
After, we spoon and I start to teach him about my body. I let him nuzzle into the back of my neck and we start again, starting at the hairline, working his way down. Now, the sore, tired button between my legs gains sensation, now, and only now does she come alive…