Heres a few words of wisdom from myself to the punters out there (please excuse my frankness)
1. Nothing is ever as it seems
Your university educated, single party girl honey in reality, might have left school in year 11, dabbled in minimum wage jobs before getting behind on her car payments and no longer able to buy her Bobby Brown (it's a makeup brand fyi) mascara so decided escorting was easier and more fun. Possibly she has loose intentions of studying one day but her partner likes her working because it means he can sit around doing nothing much. This is probably not true in your favourite ladies case, but is a lot more common than you might realise, so don’t be disappointed if your honey is lying to you about her life story. Taking on a new identity as an escort gives girls an opportunity to 'reinvent' themselves. It's nothing personal, it's marketing.
2. Flirting is part of the job
If we make you feel great and you leave feeling a foot taller, it means we have offered you a good professional experience, NOT that we want to marry you. Alot of escorts either have partners or have no intention of ever crossing the client line. If a girl does show genuine interest and you aren’t in her 'league' (if you believe in those), ask yourself: what exactly will she gain from the relationship? If it seems too good to be true, it often is. If you are definitely detecting something more to the situation, there is no harm in asking, but don't place heavy expectations on her, and be prepared to handle rejection with dignity. You must be aware that if you put yourself in the position of having your feelings hurt, inevitably they will be. The industry is a messy (though not impossible) place for love.
3. Your wife is never going to behave like your escort
If your thoughts during your time with an escort drift to “if only the wife sucked dick like that’ then get your head out of the clouds right now! Escorts screw and suck like that because you pay them to. Many escorts in their private lives have average sex just like the rest of you. In fact when they’re ‘off duty’ they may even like to have a rest from sex. So don’t get mad at your wife because she wont do it doggy style – truth is your relationship is probably the same as most others. PEOPLE RESPOND TO INCENTIVES. When was the last time you made her feel like a princess? Keep in mind also that menopause and children have a massive effect on a womens sex drive. This is normal, there is nothing 'wrong' with your wife. You just might need to put in some more groundwork to reignite that passion. Also – keep these thoughts in your head. Ladies don’t want to hear about your wife. Ever.
4. Sex is fun but it’s not worth losing your house for
If not a day goes by where you aren’t thinking about where the next punting dollar is going to come from, it’s time to stop. We appreciate you coming to see us and funding our lifestyle- but not at the expense of yours. Punting can be addictive and I have discovered some men putting themselves in financial trouble to see more girls. Seeing escorts is a sunk cost. There is no investment here, it is just emotional return. There are many men who see girls on a regular basis, but generally they have the means to do so. Working at the supermarket will not fund regular punts with high end touring girls. So please don’t book them instead of paying your rent! I have encountered a couple of such people who have unloaded their financial burdens on me. It makes me feel a bit stink, and the clients walk away with the guilt that comes with most addictive behaviours.
5. Internet stuffs
Internet stuff (such as twitter or forums) also comes under the ‘nothing is ever as it seems’ heading but deserves its own section. The girls are there to promote and the punters are there for hobby. And then there’s those who are there for the social side. It’s important for people to remember that it’s just people behind a keyboard talking smack. We’re all talking smack in some way, girls and boys alike. Never take it seriously – a large amount of forum and twitter users haven’t had 2 feet on the ground in at least 20 years and enjoy the seedy side of the sex industry rather than actually partaking in it. So relax, have a laugh, educate yourself (I believe many punters have a higher level of emotional intelligence than the average person) and feel sorry for the idiots instead of hatred.
6. Making sure it doesn’t bite you in the arse
I love escorts, in all their sexiness and mystery, but there are many who I wouldn’t trust. Being a ‘last-resort’ kind of industry for some, means it does attract the odd fruit-loop. Handle your business, and handle it discreetly. We can only do so much on our side to protect your discretion. If you have a lot to lose by getting caught, then do your best not to. I do my best to contact within a reasonable timeframe, some people don't care. Don't send naked selfies to every escort on back page, someone will probably put it on twitter to make fun of you. Behave and be smart.
7. On the subject of being a gentleman
Down to business now – I strongly recommend being a honey to the girls you see (I will pass on explaining how to do so, if you don't know already then you are already a lost cause). We may be promiscuous for money but as I mentioned earlier, PEOPLE RESPOND TO INCENTIVES! If a guy treats me like a queen, it makes it sooo much easier to do my job. A client will have a much more responsive escort when they’re nice, as opposed to when theyre being a dick. If you’re a dick, you're at best, very lucky if you get a good professional girl who will still do what she has to do (what she has advertised) but won’t enjoy it and there will be no ‘x’ factor. If you’re unlucky (and you deserve it) you will get a sassy girl who’ll maybe still screw you, but then throw you out after 15mins. A gentleman will get all the extras like chat, post coital cuddles, round 2, deep kisses, appointment outside of normal hours, extra time, smiles and laughter. Arguably, you can’t put a price on some of those things. Regulars and gentlemen get the best of everything. So don’t be a dick.
8. On the subject of being a dick
This is for the sinister bastards that lurk. Word gets around very quickly. Girls are a tightknit group because we need to be. If you’re aggressive, a pest, like blackmailing people, telling peoples families or stalking them – we know who you are. If you like seeing girls, then be nice to them and respect their boundaries, otherwise you’ll never see another decent lady again, or worst case, you’ll fuck over one of those fruit loops I mentioned and let me assure you that hell hath no fury! There are channels in place to prevent creeps like you from making more girls lives hell. I truly believe in Karma - she's a bitch and will bite you in the arse.
9. Don’t be afraid to speak up
Escorts are predominantly female, which automatically makes them emotional and a little volatile at times.
But, they are firstly professionals. If an escort doesn’t provide what you asked for or she behaved unprofessionally – then tell her so. Don’t use an external medium to do so, tell her before you proceed or after, or even via email, txt or call and make your feelings clear. We are not perfect even when we try and sometimes we may need that (constructive) feedback to up our game. Sometimes things can happen we aren’t aware of. I often hear my own clients complain about other girls but don’t have the guts to tell the girl herself. If you turn up to a booking and your escort is rolling drunk, don’t sweep it under the rug. Alcohol and substance abuse does exist in our industry – your friendly word could be what inspires her to seek help. Be honest, just don’t be a dick about it or use it to ruin her reputation. Noone likes a moaner. Feedback is how we learn and though it can be hard to swallow, is important.
10. Have fun!
Seriously, you are paying for a lay, not a bride! This is not a lifelong commitment, this is the one time you can root and leave without (normally) having to worry about the repercussions or hurting anyone. Condoms have offered us a promiscuous life without fear or consequence. It's really quite a liberating time to be horny.
Escorts are there for a reason, use them for such and it is a very mutually beneificial arrangement. You have the opportunity to experience sexual relief and maybe also learn something. Sex is special even when its paid for so savour it. I have met so many amazing people in my occupation – and all the best encounters were so much fun. Fun isn’t performance based, so don’t get hung up on things that aren’t important.
Go forth and fornicate! xx