I need to have a gripe about touring. Touring sex workers are now a well established part of the sex industry. To the point where, its now become expected that we all be touring escorts.
Now, touring has it’s upsides. I’m a bit of a tourist - I like to see new places and have new experiences. Touring is a way I can visit new towns and cities and meet new clients that I otherwise wouldn’t. I do think it’s best to tour to places one likes, or at least are open to visiting for the first time to explore. I collect things, so it’s always nice to get a new thingamabob from a new place, hunt through the antique stores and to do a touristy thing or two and check out the brunch spots. That’s the nice, leisurely part of touring.
The thing is though, I love Brisbane. This is my home, and I love my house and I have great clients here. I know my expenses week to week and even in a quiet week, I can continue on without stressing too much about overheads. They’re high, but they’re not unmanageable. I can ride my pushbike to the park or across the Story Bridge in my downtime, I can study, I can go to my local ashram for yoga, brave my spin class or arrange a drink with a friend. If work is quiet at home - I can distract myself and do my favourite things. On tour, I'm alone in a hotel room feeling pressure to hustle up some extra work because every hour that I'm doing nothing costs money. It's isolating and a little depressing.
Touring is so expensive. Whilst having to maintain those overheads back home while I’m away, I’m also having to manage an additional 1-2.5k for flights and accommodation. I don't have children, but those who do also need to arrange and pay for childcare, and petsitting for tours as well, which significantly bumps up expenses. That’s potentially an additional 5+ hours work for me just to break even on the tour itself, so I have to be pretty sure that I can be busy for a tour so I can make profit worth leaving home for. I’ve had tour days with no bookings at all. New town - new time wasters too. Cancellations galore. You also waste alot of time in transit, sitting in airports, flying, paying for and wasting time in Ubers when you could be being productive at home. I usually get a couple of clients willing to prebook with a deposit before I leave but the rest will be shorter notice. And that’s okay, I don’t mind same-day usually, but it’s a gamble to hope they will come through. Leaving home with only a few hundred dollars towards expenses is still a massive risk. Sometimes it has been worth it, and other times I came home with my tail between my legs and bills still to pay. But either way, I returned exhausted.
All this for what? The opportunity to brunch in a new town is nice, but not if it potentially loses me thousands of dollars. And yet the expectation keeps rising, and the willingness to pay deposits is still rare. I receive txts every single day asking me when I’m touring to their city, but they soon disappear as soon as I actually announce a tour. The thing is, I believe some clients like the idea of someone, more than they genuinely are willing to see them. ‘Come to my town so I can maybe make up my mind at the time if I want to see you’, 'your pictures are hot, wish you were here (in the middle of nowhere)', simply isn’t fair or good enough. To break even in sex work is a fail, and to run at a loss is heart breaking. It’s such a risk to take, when I could simply stay in the comfort of beautiful Brisbane and see my lovely regulars.
Touring works in cycles. You save enough to risk a tour, then if it works, then that will fund your next tour and so on and so forth. Getting on and off that cycle can be really difficult for a lot of people. I’m exposed a lot to attitudes that escorts make a lot of money, when the reality is, often, we don’t. We are exposed a lot online to self-gifting (showing off own purchases as gifts, own dinners as dinner dates) etc by people trying to create an illusion of their success to mask quiet patches. And everyone has their way of marketing and that’s fine, but it can create an attitude amongst clients who don’t care to pay deposits or prebook, because we’re seemingly swimming in money anyway so theirs doesn’t matter. It does. Every single booking makes a difference between loss and profit, and we aren’t running charities here. I know many ladies are in a position and market segment where they can demand deposits from ALL clients before touring, and that’s a nice privilege to have. But the vast number of us in our own niches wouldn’t be able to tour on that policy and I wish the shamey attitude of some people would cease and they’d recognise their own privilege. We don’t deserve to be mucked around by clients just because we didn’t take a deposit, sometimes we can’t afford to lose the booking over a technicality. Do we choose a stubborn approach or our bottom line? In my ideal world, all clients would book with deposits, and many do - but I would simply lose a lot of work on that policy, and I’m here to make profit after all. Truth is though, everybody loses without deposits - because I won’t tour at all now, if I don’t get enough to cover all of my expenses. Increasingly, my policy is strictly 'fly me to you' - for those willing to fully commit to seeing me, rather than dream.
So I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest. I’m increasingly grouchy at the number of demands to tour cities, the amount of spam arriving in my inboxes that are not genuine enquiries, but the requests of dreamers. I rarely tour anymore, maybe once or twice a year, because of the risk, time and effort involved, but also because I don't really want to. Brisbane is such a beautiful place to work and live, the clients are awesome and I have a solid base of regulars who support my business. Tours now are solely to support my visit to a place for other reasons.
I guess the lesson here is, if you’d like a lady to tour - commit. Make a decent deposit when she announces her tour, or fly her to you. But please, if you aren’t willing to commit, you aren't willing to put your money where your mouth is - please don’t waste her time asking her to tour to your town - stop harassing us. Go and see your local ladies, help them make rent - help keep them around.